feelings

do you know what really bugs me, to the point of seeing red.
is when people over hear conversations and hear it wrong, then pass on the message, wrong and you get the bollocking over something you didn't do.

for fuck sake.
but the amazing thing is, that no matter how fucked off i am, all i need to do is phone or see the one person who makes me realise why i breathe, and i'm fine.
god i would kill to see him right now. but i just wish that things would pick up.
and sort themselves out for me.
i dont have the physical or emotional energy to do anything anymore.
to have to listen to everyone else's problems just gets me down, and drains the little energy i have left.
i cant eat, i cant sleep, i feel like i cant breathe and i'm constantly trapped in the box, pressing my 'self destruct' button over and over and over again, hoping that it will all end very very very soon.
but what else can i do?

dear god, save me from this hell on earth.