the stupid thing

whats really crazy is that i know i should say sorry to my boyfriend's ex girlfriend, but a) i cant bring myself to do it
and
b) i dont actually know why.
i know its the right thing to do, but i cant bring myself to actually get in contact with her and say it.

i want her out of mine and his lives, but thats a bit more complicated than it may seem because his sister who is 18 is still really good friends with her, and they're always both their, chilling in the living room, so that now it has gotten to the point where i dont trust him in his own house and i dont want to be there either.
it has gotten to the point where i am so god damned fucking confused, because everyone says something different.
i dont ever want to be without him, but i might have to face up to the idea that that is a possibility with the way he's being atm.

FOR FUCK SAKE!